In September 2011, Washington DC went up against Hurricane Irene (thankfully, it turned out to be nothing) but it must've rained for 5 days straight... while normal people stay in and watch movies or play games, the QuinJa used this opportunity to test himself against the Elements...
If you recall, in August 2011, I battled MINI-ME (Karma Sutra Shrimp as an Appetizer)... C-Fu came back and he brought some friends...
HEO NOH (Pork)
*CELEBRITY BATTLER*
RIHANNA!!!
Whoa, what??? She even sent a video of her fighting technique!!!! Such audacity!!! Such impudence!!! Such gyration... Such beauty... wait, what... (Is this some type of Hypnotiq technique???)
The QuinJa doesn't need an umbrella... ella... ella... he only needs paella... ella...
TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA: 2-2-2
RIHANNA (Celebrity Battler on behalf of C-Fu (0-1-0) and "Heo" No (0-0-0)
Shrimp (1 lb) + Chorizo (1 lb)
Entourage: 1.5 Cups of Rice, 3 Cups of Chicken Broth (remember, it's 1-to-2 Rice/Broth ratio), Grape/Plum Tomatoes, Sweet Peppers, Onion, Garlic, Parsley (for garnish), Cumin, Paprika, White Wine
[Refer to "Measurements and the Ninja Way - May 2011 if you're curious why I'm being ambiguous about the amounts in this recipe.]
Ninja Tip: The Rice is the star of this Entourage... just add whatever else that you like... I mean, in Spain, they just start a fire, whip out the pan and throw in whatever walks or swims by... yes, I realize that plants and veggies don't walk or swim but there's nothing wrong with going with "easy prey" right? No very honorable (Samurai-wise) but we're Ninjas...
15" (38-40cm) Diameter Pan = Serves 4-6
Ninja Tip: No need to spend alot, you can get one at Williams-Sonoma. Wait, did I say that Williams-Sonoma was cheap? Do a search and you can either spend $400+ or $25! Hey, a Hyundai is still gonna get you to the same place as a Ferrari.. it's just gonna take longer and you probably won't have a hot co-pilot, but look at it this way... when these cars battle a brick wall... the brick wall is gonna win!
Techniques: Sweating, Searing
1. Sear the Proteins! In this case, chorizo (few minutes) and shrimp (season the shrimp like Karma Sutra Shrimp - August 2011). Remove and set aside.
Ninja Tip/Weakness: Spanish Chorizo is very fatty! Try to render the fat to use! I believe chorizo from your local supermarket will work just fine - I'd go with spicy for more kick!
2. Keep the Stock Hot. (Match the stock with whatever you are cooking to emphasize that flavor!) This will add in it's adsorption into the rice.
3. Saute Aromatics. Sweat Onions and Garlic. Then add tomatoes and peppers. Salt and pepper.
4. Add rice. Do not prewash the rice. I deglaze with white wine then ensure that the rice is coated with olive oil to "seal" it to prevent it from releasing starch and keeping the rice firm.
5. Season to taste. I added paprika. I did not add saffron because it is expensive... rich/classy women like Rihanna are always taken care of... MAN UP and be unique by taking her to McDonald's... she'll appreciate it! Hey, if my advice doesn't work... you're a Ninja... it's easy to hide in the shadows!!! Oh yeah, if you want me to use saffron in the future, feel free to donate it to me!
Ninja Lore: Saffron costs alot because it needs to be handpicked from small buds... over 150,000 flowers are needed to make one dried kilogram! Yeah, if you want to impress a girl... give her a saffron flower bouquet... my Cousin VinniJa has great rates on loans...
VICTORY! Yeah, I don't need no stinkin' umbrella... Rihanna was no match when I "make it rain..."
I should join these guys...
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