Monday, December 12, 2011

"Storied" Battle at Joe's Movement Emporium

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After a depressing (and life-changing) defeat at Hell's Kitchen, was this the end of the QuinJa and the Cooking-Dojo?  I seriously thought about hanging up my knives (no worries, my hands are still "real and spectacular" deadly weapons)... I felt like Archer after his loss of Katya Kasanova...



Well, taking a cue from Bionic Barry, the QuinJa has rebuilt, better, faster, stronger, yeah... even more awesomer... as you can see the QuinJa is "Back in Black" (see profile pic)... dare I say, QuinJa Gaiden?!!!


As such, after defeat by the Otter Clan, (Battle 4, September 2011), the new improved QuinJa Gaiden asked them to join forces (New Name Patent Pending) for a "Storied" Battle at Joe's Movement Emporium - a great venue... especially if you believe in Community!



My extended family at DeviatedTheatre was having a fundraiser... target = 100 people (all damn good-looking people!)...


In these dishes, I attempt to mimic DeviatedTheatre’s wonderful Storytelling Gala...
Special Thanks to Andrew Bailey and Jeremy Tapp for their culinary help!

Vietnamese Pork Spring Rolls (Bottom Right)
Pork, Sweet Onion, Carrots & Black Mushrooms
DeviatedTheatre and its supporters are family. I wanted to share a piece of my family with my extended family.

Chicken Breast Roulade (Mid Right)
Roasted Chicken with Smoked Ham, Provolone & Basil
Much like “Sway” and the many depths of purgatory... a dish with many layers of flavor!

Spanikopita (Vegetarian - Top Right)
Feta Cheese, Nutmeg & Honey
“Aspiro” has the Furies. Here’s my “deviation from the norm..”

Ratatouille Nicoise (Vegan - Mid Left)
Eggplant, Yellow Squash, Zucchini, Red Onions
Inspired by “Lore” there’s more than what seems to be a “peasant” dish.

Spinach Gnocchi (Vegetarian - Bottom Right)
Potatoes & Spinach
Oh, what a “siGHt”... in honor of the DeviatedTheatre performers, spinach gnocchi served in pearl dancing stilettos...

Mushrooms a la Grecque (Vegan - Top Left)
White Wine & Seasonings
"Aspiro" has three furies... Mushrooms served in a mini tortilla bowl.  Yeah, hard to believe but QuinJa Gaiden has "one fury" leftover!

This covers the Savory portion, here's the Sweet...

Ninja Technique: When fine chopping 10 HEADs of garlic at 2am, your fingers naturally curl to protect themselves!


Saturday, November 19, 2011

To HELL and BACK: Mini-Boss Battle! (MasterChef, Season 3 Casting Call!)

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Hmm... it's time for Tolkien's There and Back Again (e.g, The Hobbit) - Cooking-Dojo Edition!
This posting is going to be told backwards because the goal was to advance in the MasterChef, Season 3 Casting Call!


Does the QuinJa survive the journey to "Hell's Kitchen?"



Nov 12: ~1:30pm
As I leave around, last known contestant was number 336... 

Q: [I should've showed up later in the day... there would've been less of a wait time and my food would not been out in the cold for 4-5hrs!  Might have been a different outcome...]

In my bracket of 20, four people advanced... the QuinJa is defeated! Two dishes that I saw advanced where some kind of quiche (Ack!  Quiche tastes good even when cold!  Good strategic move on that person's part!) and a seafood dish (looks like meatballs of crawfish and other seafood) in bon-bon looking bread - the plating was 3 "sliders."

I did some research earlier and apparently a pierogi dish had advanced in an earlier casting... I'm pretty disappointed... I started to wonder if I should have played it safe and made, Spinach Gnocchi or Ratatouille Nicoise or Mushrooms a la Grecque - surely these dishes would have survived the cold!
Here are the Signature Dishes of Season 2.


Can't say that it was "fun" or a "good experience" but I hope it's a good story!


Nov 12: ~11:00am


The Casting Call said that there would be no means to reheat or keep our plates warm (a cardinal rule in restaurants) before service AND that cold food would be taken into account (e.g., not penalized) by the taster. 

The scoring criteria were Presentation, Taste, Ingredients and Techniques.

Throughout the competition, it may have seemed like "nerves" but I was just focused on wiping out the competition!  I blocked out everything... but here's what I overheard...

The woman on my left made some kind of cream of something soup.  The tester said that the soup had broken (e.g., cream had separated from the broth, it was no longer uniform).  She explained that the food was sitting in the cold for 4 hours!

The guy on my right smoked a whole hog at 6pm the previous night, woke up at 3am and drove down to DC with his Pulled Pork Sandwich.  I'm certain that pulled pork (or any BBQ) tastes great right off the smoker/grill.  When it's cold, it tastes horrible!  I confirmed this theory because he was nice enough to offer me a taste.  Hmm... would Pulled Pork ever advance in a MasterChef competition?  I mean Crisp N Juicy, Five Guys, and Pizza taste great but would these "Main Street Foods" ever advance?


When I was in line earlier (10:45am), I got to meet Chef Gordon Ramsay... he seems like a good guy and his staff is my England and they were pretty organized and very nice!

They filmed this interaction... I wonder if it will make the cut and be shown on TV?!

Q: Hi Chef!
R: How are you?
Q: Good Chef!
R: So what have you made for us today?
Q: Triple Q.  They call me Q.  So Q's Roasted Quail and Red Quinoa.  SO TASTY IT'S SINFUL!
R: [Well, that's quite scandalous.  I'm not sure if this is right show for that.]
He laughed and everybody in the line near me broke out as well!

QQQ: Q's Roasted Quail with Sweet Pepper Red Quinoa with Mango/Peach Puree
I "solomized"... termed made up in allusion to the Biblical story with King Solomon where he ruled to cut the baby in two... halved the quail and put the quiona in between to make it look like a bigger bird... OK, it's a horrible pun (especially given recent scandals in collegiate sports... prayers and thoughts to victims) but the Fox Network is known to be edgy...
(Photo courtesy of Kyle.)

(Photo courtesy of Chinh.)
Taster vs. QuinJa:
He said my quinoa was undercooked.  (Secretly, I agreed with him.  I had cooked it for like 45-60 minutes in chicken stock - normally it takes about 20 minutes.  See recipe below for further analysis.)

He carried plastic utensils but switched to my metal ones to check my quail.  He checked under the wing and then tore it to pieces.  It looked rubbery.  WTF?  I woke up and roasted the quails and immediately put into my tubberware (well, actually Pyrex container)... I had heat packs too!

I surmise that putting the hot quails in a CLOSED container led to the buildup of STEAM... further boiling my quails and making them rubbery when cold!  When I tried out for Food Network, I showed up at 8am (sat inside a hotel) and got interviewed at 10am.  I miscalculating, even with heat packs, of standing outside in the cold for 4 hours!  *sigh*  But those that advanced had the same problems... well, except the guy who brought a full-sized grill to cook his food in line!  Another woman brought a full-sized hot box!

Undercooked quinoa... that's all he said...

Looking back, I should've cooked everything the night before and served it cold...  *sigh*
I took a risk in making poultry (quails are super delicate... you can't go rare because of salmonella and you can easily overcook).  Also, grain products are tought to pull off... (pasta or risotto in competitions).

This was my first attempt at make Quail and Quinoa...

Nov 12: 8:15am
Thanks to my gal pal Sheila for transporting me to Trinity Washington University for the tryouts... I am number "181" (maybe I got it backwards and it was "181").  Note that in AZN culture, "8" is a lucky number so I'm feeling good...

It's COLD... people in line are complaining but I block it all out... I mean, it takes tremendous INTESTINAL FORTITUDE to become the MasterChef right?

Nov 12: ~6:00am     RECIPE AND COOKING - QQQ

Strategize-wise... I had timed my dish to be completed in 30minutes (I watch too many cooking battling shows like QuickFire Challenges on Top Chef and Chopped... I wasn't sure if they would force me to do my dish in 30min in later rounds.)

Note: As in earlier posting, I don't usually go into exactness but I timed this down like a NASCAR pit crew...

RED QUINOA:
1. Fine chop sweet red peppers.
2. In a pot, boil about 2.5 Cups of chicken stock.
3. In a small saute pan, sweat red peppers with some olive oil.
4. Add quinoa.
5. Deglaze with white wine.  (For quinoa, I find that acid, like lemon juice, or white wine is necessary to kill the smell of "feet" that quinoa has!  On this fateful day, I think I kept the quinoa too long on the saute pan!)
6. Add quinoa and peppers to the pot of chicken stock.
7. Cook for 20 minutes... the quinoa will open up and you'll see white strands coming out of them... that's how you know it's "done."
Total Time: ~30 minutes

ROASTED QUAIL:
1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Preheat a saute pan (med-high).
3. Half the quails.
2. Drizzle with olive oil and then aggressively season with cumin and crushed red pepper.
4. About 3 minutes have elapsed... sear for 90 seconds.
5. Flip and sear for 90 seconds.
6. Finish in the oven for about 5 minutes.
Total Time: ~10 minues

MANGO/PEACH PUREE:
1. Chop red onion (1/4 onion), garlic (2 cloves), one mango (cubes), one peach (cubes). 
2. In saute pan, add half of the mango and aggressively season with cardamom!
Note: You need to check the ripeness of the mango.  If it's hard like an apple, then saute it first to soften.  If really ripe, sweat half of the onions and garlic first.
3. Sweat half of the onions and garlic.
4. Remove from pan and add to blender.  Add some heavy cream.
5. Pulse until pureed.
6. Add the peach (only to dampen the taste of mango), remaining mango, and red onions.  Pulse again but keep some "applesauce" texture.
7. Add crushed red pepper and salt.
Total Time: ~10 minutes

So Order of Operations:
1. Start boiling chicken stock.
2. Mise en place.  Chop garlic, onion, sweet peepers.
3. Should be about 5 minutes in... preheat oven to 350F.
4. As quails sear, start sweating for the mango and quinoa dishes.
5. Put quinoa in the chicken stock.
6. Take quails out.
7. Start using the blender to finish the puree. 

Nov 8: ~9pm  (I missed the call but here's the voicemail...)
"Hi [QuinJa].  This is Katie calling from MasterChef.  I'm just calling because we are really hoping that we will be meeting this Saturday in Washington DC at our open casting call.  It's gonna be at Trinity University located at... in the Trinity gymnasium.  The call is going to be from 10am to 6pm but because Gordon Ramsay has confirmed that he's gonna be there, we highly suggest that you get there early.  If you have any questions, you can visit us at our website... or you can feel free to give me a call back at... Again, my name is Katie from MasterChef and we are really looking forward to meeting you to week.  So give us a call back or we will see you Saturday.  Take Care.  Bye."

Some questions to my application that I thought were unique:

IF YOU WIN THE TITLE OF MASTERCHEF, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR DREAM TO COME OUT OF THIS OPPORTUNITY?
With a PhD in chemical engineering, I think it's natural to pursue further expertise in molecular gastronomy!  I'd love to become a subject matter expert and travel around the country and college campuses to teach it!  Hey, science can be FUN and TASTY!

WHAT OR WHO IS YOUR MOTIVATION FOR DOING THE SHOW?
I got my PhD as part of my dad's last request.  My mom is a cook and she was pregnant with me while dodging gunfire as a war refugee from Vietnam.  Gotta make mom proud!  I was training in the mixed martial arts (judo, taekwondo, akido) but my sparring partners were 50lbs heavier so I was suffering concussions!  Size doesn't matter (there are weight classes in martial arts) in culinary competitions!

DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT CHEF GORDON RAMSAY:
Like a drill sergeant.  Tough during boot camp but you'll thank him later when you're in battle!

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT AND WISHES!  LIKE EVERYTHING I DO IN LIFE, I GO BALLS-THRU THE WALL!  IN HINDSIGHT, WHILE THERE WOULD BE TACTICAL CHANGES, I STILL WOULD HAVE PLAYED TO "WIN" - LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE SCARED!  HIYA!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Battle 8 vs. Immortality (Spanikopita and Dolmades)

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As I get ready to audition for MasterChef, Season 3... you may wonder why?  Why subject yourself to the tirades of Chef Gordon Ramsey?  Well, you should read the "Introduction" to this very blog - a chance to test my culinary skills in battle!

I mean, if you had... one shot... one opportunity... seize everything you ever wanted... one moment... would you capture it... or let it slip away...




Sure, if successful, there may only be 15 minutes of fame; however, it'll be experience to share with my family and friends... heck and something to tell my great-great-great-grandkids somedays...
a chance to be IMMORTAL!!!



To get myself "Psyched Up" (Note: Psyche has roots in mythology too!), it's a Greek-inspired battle!

vs. Leonidas!!!!
If a 2-D representation (on Hallow's Eve, 2011) doesn't scare you... how bout a 3-D one...



TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA:  6-2-2
Leonidas: 0-1-0  (Remember, while the Bad News Bears or Chicago Cubs are lovable losers... the Spartans may be the most famous... I mean, they lost!!!)

Round 1:  vs his Henchman, D'OhL MADnESs

Weighing in at 1lb (Ground Beef)

Entourage (e.g., the 300): 3 Garlic Cloves, 3 Shallots, 2 Tablespoons of Fish Sauce, Grape Leaves (Half a Jar), 1 Tablespoon Sugar, 1 Tablespoon Salt, 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper, 1 Package of Lemongrass Stalks*

* I like the Lemongrass Stalk (finely chopped) because it releases the oils when I grill them and therefore tastes "more fresh."


Note: I shaped the one grape leave (you can buy them at most Middle Eastern Markets) because I like CANADA!!!

1. Combine all the ingredients by hand in a mixing bowl.
2. Wrap in grape leaves and use a toothpick (e.g., Baby Spears!).  Soak the toothpicks in water for about 30 minutes so they don't burn when grilling.  About a big spoonful of meat mixture per leaf.
3. Grill for a few minutes.  Note, I used a George Foreman Grill (after letting the grill come to temperature (about 5 minutes)) and it takes about 4 minutes to "grill."  I found that grilling removes the bitterness of the grape leaf juice.

Note: This one of the dishes at Battle at the Athenaneum post!

Victory for the QuinJa via Phalanxing!

Round 2: Will the QuinJa get SPANKopita'd?

Entourage: 1 package of Spinach, 1 package of Fillo Dough* (Can be used to make Strudel), Garlic, Butter, Feta Cheese (buy the unbroken kind - it's cheaper as you'll be cutting it anyway.)

*TIP: Fillo Dough must be thawed from the freezer and be kept under a damp cloth lest it crumbles like the Walls of Troy!

1. Melt butter.
2. Saute spinach with olive oil, add garlic, and salt and pepper (Nutmeg is optional).
3. Remove spinach, let cool, and mix with feta cheese.
3. Wrap the spinach/feta mixture into "paper American footballs."
4. Bake until golden... yes, like the Golden Fleece that Jason and the Argonauts retrieved!





Is it D'OhL MADnESs?


No, this is QUINJA!!!! NIKE! (That's victory in Greek!)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Battle 7 vs. North of "The Wall" Eh? (Part II)

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      *CELEBRITY BATTLE*

TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA:  5-2-2  (representing the City of Brotherly Love and the Philadelphia FLYERS!)
"Cindy Crosby"  0-0-0 (representing Cluck Fu - Chicken)... Nuff said!  

Cindy weighs in at 5 lbs.

Entourage: Bouquet Garni (Thyme, Celery, Bay Leaf), Mirepoix (Celery, Carrot, Onion)

Ninja Technique: Roasting

1.  Remove the innards of the chicken.  Stuff with Bouquet Garni, Mirepoix, Season (Salt and Pepper).
2.  Tie the chicken (to keep the stuffing in).  (e.g., Send Cindy to the penalty box.)  Try to avoid putting the rope near the breast so it will look nicer and unmarked!  I mean, why would anyone want to ruin a nice breast with tattoos or piercings... wait, I disgress... back to the kitchen...
3.  Sear the legs and side to keep the juices in!
4.  Bake at 425F for 15 minutes.
5.  Bake at 400F for 15 minutes.
6.  Bake at 375F for 15 minutes.
7.  Bake at 350F for 90 minutes.
Baste with the juices every now and then.  You want to end with a temperature of 180F.
In the case of poultry, you do not want to undercook or keep it rare for food safety!
You want clear juices coming from the bird not pink.




VICTORY!  I mean, what did you expect... Good always vanquishes Evil!  I assure you that Cindy was faking illness (Note: Concussions are no joking manner!) and his tears are just representing how "moist" the bird was!

You can buy the Oxo cutting board and Kitchen-Aid oven thermometer from Amazon!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Battle 7 vs. North of "The Wall" Eh? (Part I)

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 In my last battle (Battle 6), I made references to Game of Thrones with "Fall is Coming."  As such, I've watched the 1st Season on HBO and I absolutely SUPERHATE (Remember ninjas hate everything - after all, it's hard to assassinate cute things like puppies or kittens!) some of the characters - I can't believe a TV show has elicited such strong feelings from me!

Well, given that Canadian Thanksgiving happens in early-mid October (Columbus Day in the US) and the fact that I found early cooking footage when my lady friends from Canada (OK, my friends aren't supermodel/actresses but Angie, Daley, Dara and Leah (non-Canadian) are still pretty cool and incredibly smart) visited for dinner...

FUN FACT: About the hyperlink above... Elisha Cuthbert (of "24" fame is one of the American girls that Collin meets in "Love Actually."  Emmanuelle Chriqui is "Sloan" on "Entourage."  BTW - I'll give a shout out to Cobie Smulders of "How I Met Your Mother" - it's a pretty funny show!

CULINARY FUN FACT:  Ever wonder what makes CANOLA OIL?  It actually has origins in Canada!  Get it, "CANadian Oil, Low Acid" in 1978.

Onward to the battle...                         *CELEBRITY BATTLE*


TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA:  4-2-2
George "Rush" St. Pierre:  0-0-0 (representing Mushroom a la Grecque or Greek-Style Mushrooms)  "Rush" does rhyme with "Mush" and Mr. St. Pierre turns his opponents into "mush" in the Octagon!

"FUN GUY" weighs in at about 8 oz (e.g., 1 carton of Cremini or White Button Mushrooms - Quartered).

Entourage:  Onion (1/8 Diced), Garlic (Dice), Coriander (Crush), White Wine, Bouquet Garni, Tomato Paste (Optional), Lemon Juice, Parsley (for garnish)

1. Sweat onions (no coloration) and garlic.
2. Add mushroom*, salt, coriander seed (crush), bouqet garni, deglaze with white wine.
3. Cover with parchment paper and simmer 10-15 minutes.
4. Add chopped parsley and lemon juice (optional).

*Ninja Technique: Mushrooms are very delicate so clean them by wiping them with a damp cloth.  They will shrink significantly while cooking.  Any vegetable can be substituted for mushrooms in this recipe.  For example, you can use carrots.  The carrots should be boiled and blanched first (e.g., get very salty water boiling, add carrots, when they are soft, put them into an ice bath to maintain their color).

Ninja Technique: Coriander seeds need to be crushed otherwise your guest my bite into a powerful surprise (Note: If you want to be sneaky and mean like a ninja then do not crush them - it will be poignant.).  You can do this by rolling them over with your Chef's Knife or Santoku Blade!

Mushroom a la Grecque:


VICTORY!  Hey, no decisions here... I finish fights!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Battle 6 vs. Autumn - Fall is Coming! (Red Wine Sangria Sorbet)

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Signs & Portents from the last rain-induced battle with Rihanna could only harken that "Fall is Coming..."

Sorry, "Winter is Coming" but not yet...



vs Haagen, Anh & Dazs

TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA:  3-2-2
Haagen, Anh, Dazs:  1-1-1

In our last battle (July 2011), it was a Nguyen (pronounced "Win"), Laos, and a Thai... Get it?  (OK, that was corny funny... you should laugh!).  Now, they've come back with another frozen battle...

RED WINE SANGRIA (A great taste to bid farewell to Summer!).... weighing in at 1.5 Cups!

Entourage: 
1 Cup Sugar, Peels from 2 Lemons (Cut in Strips), Peels from 2 Oranges (Cut in Strips), 1 Cinnamon Stick, 1/2 Cup of Lemon Juice, 1/2 of Orange Juice, 4 Tablespoons of Grand Marnier (Orange Liqueur), 2-4 Peaches (Peeled, Pitted & Chopped - to taste), 1.5 Cups of Water



1. Make a citrus syrup!  1.5 Cups of Water + 1 Cup Sugar + Peels (Lemon & Orange) + Cinnamon Stick.  Boil and reduce for about 20 minutes.  Remove Peels.  Put in freezer to cool it down (about 30 minutes).
2. Puree!  Add peaches, then citrus syrup, then juices, then red wine!
TIP: Use "pulse" on the blender on the chopped peaches to get them going!
3. Finish Him!  In an ice cream maker (about 30 minutes) and then give it the Sub-Zero freezer treatment!



Victory!  Again, the number of peaches will help you with flavor control... add more for sweetness!

Note: I stabbed a few times with a spoon to give you an idea of the texture!  That's right... in a knife fight, the QuinJa brings a spoon!

Oxo Products like the citrus juicer or angled measuring cups can be found on Amazon!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Battle 5: vs. PA-ELLA, ELLA... (Shrimp & Chorizo)

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In September 2011, Washington DC went up against Hurricane Irene (thankfully, it turned out to be nothing) but it must've rained for 5 days straight... while normal people stay in and watch movies or play games, the QuinJa used this opportunity to test himself against the Elements...

If you recall, in August 2011, I battled MINI-ME (Karma Sutra Shrimp as an Appetizer)... C-Fu came back and he brought some friends...

HEO NOH (Pork)

*CELEBRITY BATTLER*
RIHANNA!!!

Whoa, what???  She even sent a video of her fighting technique!!!!  Such audacity!!!  Such impudence!!!  Such gyration... Such beauty... wait, what... (Is this some type of Hypnotiq technique???)



 The QuinJa doesn't need an umbrella... ella... ella... he only needs paella... ella...
 
TALE OF THE TAPE:
QUINJA:  2-2-2
RIHANNA (Celebrity Battler on behalf of C-Fu (0-1-0) and "Heo" No (0-0-0)
Shrimp (1 lb) + Chorizo (1 lb)

Entourage: 1.5 Cups of Rice, 3 Cups of Chicken Broth (remember, it's 1-to-2 Rice/Broth ratio), Grape/Plum Tomatoes, Sweet Peppers, Onion, Garlic, Parsley (for garnish), Cumin, Paprika, White Wine
[Refer to "Measurements and the Ninja Way - May 2011 if you're curious why I'm being ambiguous about the amounts in this recipe.]

Ninja Tip: The Rice is the star of this Entourage... just add whatever else that you like... I mean, in Spain, they just start a fire, whip out the pan and throw in whatever walks or swims by... yes, I realize that plants and veggies don't walk or swim but there's nothing wrong with going with "easy prey" right?  No very honorable (Samurai-wise) but we're Ninjas...
Ride: (It's Rihanna... of course, she needs her own special pimped out ride...
           15" (38-40cm) Diameter Pan = Serves 4-6
Ninja Tip: No need to spend alot, you can get one at Williams-Sonoma.  Wait, did I say that Williams-Sonoma was cheap?  Do a search and you can either spend $400+ or $25!  Hey, a Hyundai is still gonna get you to the same place as a Ferrari.. it's just gonna take longer and you probably won't have a hot co-pilot, but look at it this way... when these cars battle a brick wall... the brick wall is gonna win!

Techniques: Sweating, Searing

1. Sear the Proteins!  In this case, chorizo (few minutes) and shrimp (season the shrimp like Karma Sutra Shrimp - August 2011).  Remove and set aside.
Ninja Tip/Weakness: Spanish Chorizo is very fatty!  Try to render the fat to use!  I believe chorizo from your local supermarket will work just fine - I'd go with spicy for more kick!
2. Keep the Stock Hot.  (Match the stock with whatever you are cooking to emphasize that flavor!)  This will add in it's adsorption into the rice.
3. Saute Aromatics.  Sweat Onions and Garlic.  Then add tomatoes and peppers.  Salt and pepper.
4. Add rice.  Do not prewash the rice.  I deglaze with white wine then ensure that the rice is coated with olive oil to "seal" it to prevent it from releasing starch and keeping the rice firm.
5. Season to taste.  I added paprika.  I did not add saffron because it is expensive... rich/classy women like Rihanna are always taken care of... MAN UP and be unique by taking her to McDonald's... she'll appreciate it!  Hey, if my advice doesn't work... you're a Ninja... it's easy to hide in the shadows!!!  Oh yeah, if you want me to use saffron in the future, feel free to donate it to me!



Ninja Lore: Saffron costs alot because it needs to be handpicked from small buds... over 150,000 flowers are needed to make one dried kilogram!  Yeah, if you want to impress a girl... give her a saffron flower bouquet... my Cousin VinniJa has great rates on loans...


VICTORY!  Yeah, I don't need no stinkin' umbrella... Rihanna was no match when I "make it rain..."

I should join these guys...