Holiday Battle Royale 3: QuinJa Breadmen!

So "Azn Katniss" had a birthday and it's around Xmas time so I wanted to make her something cool!

Yeah, there was a gap in my blog posts as I spent a lot of time on the archery range.  Probably shot a few thousand times between September and now.  Hey, the QuinJa is a fan of archery... why be sneaky when you can hit your enemy at range?!

• 2/3 Cup Shortening (Shortening is all fat so it gives you a more firm product than butter which has some liquid in it.)
• 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar (I use the Whole Foods 365 Brand.)
• 2 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
• 1 Teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
• Pinch of Salt
• 1 Egg
• 3/4 Cup Molasses
• 3 Cups Flour
• 1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Baking Powder

1. Cream shortening with sugar, spices and salt.  Add egg.  Add molasses.
2. Add dry ingredients of flour, baking soda, and baking powder.
3. Put dough into the fridge to give it better consistency so you can work with it.  (Note: This is important... I was in a rush but that's why QuinJas do... we rush things and move swiftly!)
4. Bake 8-10 mins at 375F.

 

Before the QuinJa Breadmen begin their training and are tested in the fires of the oven!

My attempt to mold an archer for Azn Katniss.  She usually wears a necklace and a quiver.  Admittedly, I could have come up with a better design/decoration.

QuinJa Breadmen - it's always good to attack in groups!  Hey, it's a mano-a-mano fight, it is advantageous to bring buddies - who said the QuinJa fights fair!

Holiday Battle Royale 2: Caliente Chocolate Mousse

So I got invited to my friend Nina's "dress up" holiday party... she wanted to keep things classy so the QuinJa had to wear my dress blacks... much like a tactical turtleneck, or tactleneck!  Seriously, I decided to wear my dark navy suit with a peach plaid tie (thanks Ash for picking it out) and "Q" cufflinks (thanks Langs!)... yeah, I had to impress!

In keeping with the theme, I decided to make a "classy" dessert and, of course, I had to make it look easy - while Tiggers bounce, and Poohs are simply pooh-like, the QuinJa has to make stuff looks easy!  Thanks for my sous chef help from Megan and Sarah for plating!

 

 
















Caliente Chocolate Mousse with Whipped Cream Dusted with Nutmeg and Cinnamon

The QuinJa moves "fast as lightning" - this can be done in like 30 minutes!!!!

Ingredients:

8 oz chocolate (I use 65% semisweet Bletia.)

2 eggs

2 egg yolks

1/2 cup sugar (I use the Whole Foods "365" brand.)

2 cups of heavy cream (Just buy it by the quart.)

Technique:

1. Melt the chocolate - in a saucepan, boil some water.  Then place a stainless steel mixing bowl on top with the chocolate on it.  (This is a bane marie setup.)

2. This is where I generously add cayenne pepper!  It's OK if it's on the overpowering side as you will add thing later to "dampen/weaken the flavor."  Put in the fridge.

3. Using the same bain marie setup, warm the eggs over the boiling water in another stainless steel mixing bowl.  I usually do this for 5 minutes to ensure that the eggs are safe to eat.  I usually keep the mixing bowl off the saucepan.  You do not want to get any egg solids precipitating!!!!  Go slow and pay attention!

4. Fold the eggs and chocolate together. 

Tip: When you fold, you want to aim your spatula dead center and sweep up and over.  The spatula stays in that position, you hand moves/rotates the bowl.

5. Whip the heavy cream to a soft peak.

6. Fold the cream and the egg/chocolate mixutre.

7. Whip the remaining cream to top off the mousse.  I grated cinnamon and nutmeg on top.

I wonder if I add some vanilla extract while whipping the cream if I would get some vanilla whipped cream.

Holiday Battle Royale - Fight 1: Spiked EggNog Cupcakes

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've made a post... been busy with learning how to draw and archery!  Yesterday, I (hey, the QuinJa needs to reload his ammo!) bought 11lbs of 65% Chocolate Couverture Coins, Sugar, Molasses, Honey, Egg, etc... ready to try to impress at all the Holiday Gathering arenas! 

Some people post pictures of their animals, but how about my Pam Poovey inspired Sharkey!

So, my trivia team "That's Using Your Egg-Noggin" has been doing well so they inspired me to make alcoholic eggnog cupcakes.  Bold are my initial changes to the recipe I found.  Makes 24 cupcakes.

Cake:

• 3 cups of cake flour (it's lighter than normal AP flour... if you can't find it, this is how you make it with corn starch - CLICK).
• 2.5 teaspoons baking powder
• 0.5 teaspoons of salt
• 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter (that's one half stick)
• 1.5 cup sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 4 tablespoons dark rum (the QuinJa uses Meyers)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 1.5 cup of eggnog (half a quart)

Glaze:

• 2 teaspoons of maple syrup (the recipe that I found said light corn syrup - but I like Canada... they protect The Wall so the wildlings of the North Pole don't invade the US!)
• 1.5 cup of 10x sugar
• 4 tablespoons of eggnog
• Nutmeg...just to dust on top
• Rum - to taste (or drinking while baking) (for those that I want a number - 1 teaspoon)

1. Cream the butter + sugar.
2. Add the wet ingredients (eggs, vanilla, rum, eggnog).
3. Add the dry ingredients (powder, salt, flour) in portions to ensure good mixing.
4. Bake at 350F (apparently, my baking thermometer read 350F when I set my oven at 400F!) for about 20 minutes.  Use a toothpick to see if it comes out clean!

"Spiked EggNog with EggNog Glaze Dusted with Nutmeg"

Battle Report:

• As the QuinJa, I probably do too much "overkill" (get it?) with the rum, as I've noticed that my alcoholic cupcakes always seem to droop in the center... in this case, it's OK because it gives me a pool for the glaze to collect in.
• For peeps that don't like this look, just mix the Glaze concoction with enough butter or marscapone to give it more volume... yes, you've just made a more traditional buttercream icing.
• I really liked the moisture/texture of the final product but I felt like it was missing a "kick" (or roundhouse)... I tend to like a mixture of sweet and savory in my desserts.  Below is my modification for Version 2.0.

Cake:

• 3 cups of cake flour (it's lighter than normal AP flour... if you can't find it, this is how you make it with corn starch - CLICK).
• 2.5 teaspoons baking powder  (I'm thinking 3-4 teaspoons of baking powder for more rise like a Dragon Punch - Shu-ryu-ken!)  UPDATE - 3 teaspoons did the job!
• 0.5 teaspoons of salt
• 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter (that's one half stick)
• 1.5 cup sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 4 tablespoons dark rum (the QuinJa uses Meyers)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 1.5 cup of eggnog (half a quart)
• Nutmeg or other spices... I feel that having it in the cake will make it taste better.

Glaze:

• 2 teaspoons of maple syrup (the recipe that I found said light corn syrup - but I like Canada... they protect The Wall so the wildlings of the North Pole don't invade the US!)
• 1.5 cup of 10x sugar
• 4 tablespoons of eggnog
• Nutmeg...just to dust on top
• Rum - to taste (or drinking while baking) 
• 1/4 teaspoon - yeah, going for that Salted Eggnog taste! 

vs. Rhu-Barbara?!

While the QuinJa is most definitely, tongue-n-cheek, this battle is dedicated to Marriage Equality!

As a lesbian chemical engineering professor once sad, "Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean it's right and just because no one is doing it, doesn't make it wrong."

So RuPaul... is a he/she?

Similarly, is rhubarb, a fruit or vegetable?

The QuinJa is being overconfident today, so I'm gonna tell you that I got fresh rhubarb and strawberries from my local CSA - community supported agriculture.  Of course, it's doubtful, that while my enemies will find my food supplies and poison me, I simply cannot be killed!  Note, I just recently did the ToughMudder in the Mid-Atlantic this April!

CHALLENGE #1 - TOO TART:  I have never worked with rhubarb before so I tasted it - it was very tart!  I was thinking it was gonna taste like celery but sweeter (while I am color-blind, it looks like red celery).

Looking online, I saw recommendations to boil in sugar water.

Well, the QuinJa believes in good and clean living so I decided to boil in pineapple juice.  I used pineapple juice because I remember hearing that it possesses an enzyme to help with digestion while on the Dole Tour in Hawaii.  Ain't gonna lie, the pineapple maze was pretty fun - hey, the QuinJa likes playing hide and sneak and kill...

CHALLENGE #2:  Still tasted tart and the color was not appetizing...

Add strawberries... the color looked alot better...

CHALLENGE #3: Still tart...

Add honey and cardamon!

Yes, it looks like sphaghetti sauce but I guess it's Rhubarb-Strawberry Chutney (rhubarb, pineapple juice, honey, strawberries, and cardamon powder - NO SUGAR).

So, I decided to get puff pastry from the store... yes, I realize it's "cheating" but that's what restaurants do too - they buy their stuff so says my master, Chef P.

Voila!  Topped with some powder sugar to sweeten...

Strawberry Rhubarb Chutney in Puff Pastry!

Battle: French Onion Soup vs The Grill

Show your (and get your friends too!) support for the adventures of QuinJa, SUPER TOUGH Culinary Ninja, by becoming a fan of Cooking-Dojo on Facebook!

Whew!  It's been awhile since the Boss Battle... I did not get a call back for Chopped but yours truly was on a super secret mission culminating in a life and death situation - but I did get to learn the rare Titanium Head technique!  Oh yeah, Death called and He/She wanted to talk to His/Her Uncle!  On a side note, I gotta start writing about this adventure... maybe I'll post some tidbits on 
reddit.  My goal is to write a funny/inspirational book dedicating it to Victoria of the Holy Cross Clan.  Stay tough!  Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!  

In keeping with this theme of toughness, we've all heard of the stereotypical "French tough guy" oxymoron, right?  So I'm gonna describe how to make French Onion Soup and make it tough by GRILLING it!  Plus, sometimes a ninja is stuck behind enemy lines or in a forest so he's not gonna have a kitchen with him!

Ingredients:
   Onions
   Chicken Broth (you can use Vegetable or Beef Broth)
   White Wine (you can use Red if you go Beef Broth)
   Bay Leaves and Thyme (I was too lazy to make a Bouquet Garni).
   Honey!!!  (not part of traditional recipe but I'll explain later)
   Sourdough Bread
   Gruyere (Swiss Cheese from Righteous Cheese.  Shout out to Carolyn and her Clan!) 

Step 1:  Combine Broth, Wine, Thyme and Bay Leaf... Pepper and Salt.  Sorry, I just threw the ingredients together so it looks kinda messy.  Hey, sometimes you gotta cook on the run!  Oh, my grill is mobile - I totally endorse this the Coleman Roadtrip.  Oh yeah, it took a long time to get the broth to a boil...

Astute readers with mad surveillance skillz will notice limited shrubbery!  So where's the forest???  Umm... it's called the Urban Jungle, folks!

Step 2: In the classic recipe, you coat the onions with flour and then carmelize in a saute pan.  Since we are doing it on the grill, I had to counteract the bitterness from the grill marks on the onions... the solution was to coat the onions with honey!!!  (I couldn't do sugar because I'm guessing the sugar would just burn on the open flames.)

Astute readers will notice that I hit a pig with my car, errr... a slayed a wild boar with my deadly bare-handed fighting techniques so I threw Italian Sausages on the grill too!

Step 3: In the classic recipe, you put bread on the broth and cover it with cheese and send it through a broiler or salamander.  I forgot to take pictures (hey, "Don't Drink and Drive" but "Drinking and Grilling" is socially acceptable). but I grilled the cheese on the bread.

Grilled French Onion Soup!