Holiday Battle Royale 4: QuinJa vs The Lion King (Malva Pudding)! RAWR...

After surviving death numerous times, the QuinJa doesn't fear anything!  The QuinJa never backs down from a fight... however, some forces are even greater than Chuck Norris (and his Beard)!

 

By academic training, I could be the real life guy from Breaking Bad, but, man, I don't know if people would hate me if I came up with drugs to stunt the growth of kittens so they would always stay kittens - but I know that Krieger would approve!

This battle is dedicated to my best friend Steve ("Ugh") and his lovely wife ("Kimmer") and to my Archery Family/Clan led by Natasha ("Bubbles"), who is from South Africa.

Backstory: So when I moved from the quasi-hood (Yes, the QuinJa has mad survival skillz in the Urban Jungle - yeah, I can climb fences pretty well because I had to take the long way home from school to avoid drug dealers!  Remember, say "no to drugs and eat your fruits and vegetables for health and vitality."), I met my best friend Steve in 5th grade and we've been friends ever since - yeah, I'm really loyal for a back-stabbing ninja!  LOL - I remember sitting next to him and I got a mechanical pencil that I called Sting because I slayed math goblins like no one else... yeah, yeah, I guess it's not a big deal since I am an AZN in real life!

Fast Forward: I was actually the Best Man at Steve's wedding and I remember Kimmer feeling... "I really don't get to have as many friends or loved ones here in Philly because they are in South Africa AND your friend (that's me) has only met me like 3x so he's just gonna talk about you..."  In addition to the best man's speech, Steve and Kim may not remember this... the QuinJa thrives off pressure and lives to make the tough calls... the tough call for Steve's wedding day... with an upcoming storm, move the wedding ceremony from the outside to inside???  I made the call to move the wedding inside and luckily (for me) it rained... I was seriously stressed about Kimmer hating me for the rest of my life (which is a long time because I cannot be killed!) if I made the wrong call and ruined her wedding day.

Here's an excerpt from the Best Man's Speech (it was short too!)... as a ninja, sometimes you gotta talk your way outta trouble and LOVE could be the strongest weapon out there... 

This is the story about how my best friend Steve went to South Africa and found his Diamond in the Rough [Note: The QuinJa likes Disney's Aladdin.]

So Steve and I were talking on the phone day...

Steve: Dude, I met this cutie from the South.

Me: Cool, Southern Belles are pretty hawt.

Steve: No, South Africa.

Me: Wait, you mean like the Lion King?  Hakuna Matata?  [Note: The QuinJa likes Disney's Lion King and he's fast like meerkat (Timone) and strong as warthog (Pumbaa).

So the 1st time I met Kimmer, I knew that Steve was gonna marry her...

When I first met her, Steve shows me this huge book about the Montessori school of thought and how "you can't pin a butterfly down." 

You see, Steve plays lacrosse.  He plays football.  He is a TOUGH guy.  So when he starts talking about butterflies... I was like, you need to get yourself to a shrink.

However, in the hobby world, people collect butterflies and then pin them for mounting and such.  But in education, you can't pin a child down to a desk.  They were meant to fly around and explore their world and that's how they best learn.

Ladies, if a guys reads a 1000-page tome about butterflies, he's probably really "into you."  So that's how I knew he was going to marry Kimmer.  Well, trading Nissan 350Z for a station wagon probably helped in making my assessment too...

So let's raise our glasses to Kim who loves kids and Steve, the biggest kid of them all!

Below is what Steve sent me.  In bold, are my modifications.  Yes, I realize that I'm the AZN Street Racer of the Culinary World - I have to make modifications!  I did a double recipe - fills a long Pyrex baking dish.

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Cake

1 cup sugar (250ml)              1.5 Cups of Whole Food 365 Cane Sugar

1 egg                                     4 Eggs

1 tablespoon apricot jam       2 Tablespoon

1 cup flour (250ml)                10 oz Flour

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda    2 Teaspoons

generous pinch of salt                   1 Teaspoon

1 tablespoon butter                       2 Tablespoon

1 teaspoon vinegar (5ml)              2 Teaspoon

1 cup milk (250ml)                        2/3 - 3/4 Cup of Milk

Beat egg and sugar well in a mixer.

Add the jam

Sift flour, bicarb and salt.

Melt the butter and add the vinegar.

Add liquids to egg mixture alternatively with the flour

Beat well and bake in covered dish (tin foil works) at 180C/350F for 45mins to 1 hour. (If the cake comes out white, try baking it for another few minutes with the cover off).  (Only took me 30 minutes... look for browning... I put a toothpick through and it came out clean.)

Sauce

1 cup whipping cream       2 Cups - 1 Pint (the small carton)

180g baking butter (4oz)   14 Tablespoons of Butter (about 200g - one stick is 113g) so I used 7 out of 8.

1 cup sugar                       120g Sugar

1/2 cup hot water              1/3 Cup of Hot Water (I just put in microwave (1200 W) for 1:30 minutes).
                                          4 Teaspoons of Vanilla Extract

Melt together the ingredients for the sauce and pour over the pudding as it comes out of the oven.

(A side note, you might think there is too much sauce, but it DOES soak up all of it, release the cake from the sides of the dish to let the sauce go under and maybe create a few air holes in the cake if you're in a hurry)

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At the archery party, Bubbles couldn't guess what I made... see thought it was Lamington Cake?  She's Jewish and said that's what they ate in South Africa.  Well, I did my best but she liked my presentation... (Hey, just because we wear black outfits, doesn't mean you automatically look cool... it's the little touches that make the outfit!)

I cut into cubes for the party... the cake was very moist.  I wonder if nutmeg and cinnamon or cardamon would be improvements?  I like some savory Zing! to my desserts!

Thanks M. Gao... man, that's a cookbook worthy shot!  This is probably the best photo on my blog! 

Holiday Battle Royale 3: QuinJa Breadmen!

So "Azn Katniss" had a birthday and it's around Xmas time so I wanted to make her something cool!

Yeah, there was a gap in my blog posts as I spent a lot of time on the archery range.  Probably shot a few thousand times between September and now.  Hey, the QuinJa is a fan of archery... why be sneaky when you can hit your enemy at range?!

• 2/3 Cup Shortening (Shortening is all fat so it gives you a more firm product than butter which has some liquid in it.)
• 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar (I use the Whole Foods 365 Brand.)
• 2 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
• 1 Teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
• Pinch of Salt
• 1 Egg
• 3/4 Cup Molasses
• 3 Cups Flour
• 1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Baking Powder

1. Cream shortening with sugar, spices and salt.  Add egg.  Add molasses.
2. Add dry ingredients of flour, baking soda, and baking powder.
3. Put dough into the fridge to give it better consistency so you can work with it.  (Note: This is important... I was in a rush but that's why QuinJas do... we rush things and move swiftly!)
4. Bake 8-10 mins at 375F.

 

Before the QuinJa Breadmen begin their training and are tested in the fires of the oven!

My attempt to mold an archer for Azn Katniss.  She usually wears a necklace and a quiver.  Admittedly, I could have come up with a better design/decoration.

QuinJa Breadmen - it's always good to attack in groups!  Hey, it's a mano-a-mano fight, it is advantageous to bring buddies - who said the QuinJa fights fair!